Vajra Blue

Mindfulness and Compassion. Understanding trauma in young people.


Mindfulness: Three steps to better communication.

Wise men speak because they have something to say;

Fools because they have to say something.

Plato.

As humans we use speech to communicate with each other on a daily basis. While these situations usually lead to a harmonious outcome, many end confusion and ill will. This is down to misunderstanding and a breakdown in communication.  This is usually accidental, although there are times when obfuscation through language seems to be the main aim of any communication. Donald Rumsfeld seemed to be an expert at this.

This breakdown in two-way communication is much more common when the conversation is negative, or when it involves real or perceived criticism. Under these circumstances, excessive emotional responses to neutral information are quite common. We find it hard to tell other people that we are not happy with some aspect of their behaviour, or to hear them say the same kind of thing to us. This uncomfortable experience makes it all too easy to lose sight of our good intentions, and to fall back on what might be our  habitual, unhelpful, and inappropriate ways of behaving, with the inevitable poor outcome.

When we feel attacked and make an emotional response the main drawback is that we stop listening to the conversation and instead we become reactive. This means that we either do not hear, or find ourselves ignoring any other information that might be available. Real communication is no longer possible in this situation and all ends in acrimony and recrimination.

For accurate communication we need to be able to develop a mutual understanding of the issues at hand. We need to understand what we each mean by our words, what the other person understands us to mean, what we feel about the conversation, and what we need to get out of it. Without this we are unable to accurately communicate. As Wittgenstein put it, we need to be playing the same language game as the other person with whom we are talking.

Fortunately it is possible to handle our interactions with others sensitively and confidently on a much more regular basis. Continue reading


Research Finds Meditation More Useful Than Sleep Education in Fighting Insomnia

In our sleep deprived times another good argument to teach mindfulness as widely as possible.
Start them young.

http://www.zmescience.com/medicine/alternative-medicine-medicine/meditation-insomnia-sleep-17022015/?utm_content=bufferb62d2&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Sandy


Mindfulness and the future

image

Many of us live by other peoples’ rules. We are afraid to act in our own interests.  There is always someone else whose opinion carries more weight than our own. Someone to whom we have given the power to veto the decisions that we make about how we live our lives. These are often internalised figures from our past.

We wait for the right moment to act; when we have the right job, when we have enough money, when we meet Mr or Ms Right.  If we retrain for a different job it might be years before we are ready, so we choose not to. We decide to stay with the status quo and miss out on opportunities to have a richer life.

Where our future is are concerned we have to act, otherwise we will be at the mercy of everything else that is happening. As the Nike advertisement said “Just do it.”

Continue reading


Shedding light on PTSD and Depression

A slightly different take on being PTSD from mindus101

mindus101

photo credit: pixgood.com

I have associated PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) with war veterans whose lives are disrupted by horrendous memories of war, or with people who have suffered equally disturbing violations like rape, shooting sprees, natural disasters, devastating accidents, physical abuse, among other traumatic experiences.

Although I have my share of undesired memories of experiences, I truly did not expect to be diagnosed, as I recently did, as having PTSD.

PTSD is defined as a “disruption in the systematic functioning of the body due to mental or emotional strain following a deeply disturbing or traumatic experience”.

Back in October of last year I found myself “back on the couch”,  feeling somewhat defeated but determined to “figure out” why, after “all the work” I have done on healing, I still found myself, at times, feeling stuck and overwhelmed by bouts of anxiety and depression.

This was my first visit with Dr. Davis, although…

View original post 876 more words


Mindful living for young people

image

Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different, enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t) James Baraz

The benefits of mindfulness in adults are being well researched, and the available evidence about this practice shows many positive benefits across several domains of human functioning.  Research into the benefits for young people has lagged behind the work in adults but is starting to demonstrate very similar effects.

Several studies which have used brain scans and other neuroscientific assessments, have demonstrated both structural and functional changes in the brain following mindfulness practice. These changes are directly related to improvements in both the clarity of our thinking as well as our awareness and control over our feelings.

This means that we can act out of what is happening in the present moment rather than allowing past events and scripts to dictate our current choices and behaviours.

Continue reading


3 Comments

Mindfulness: fitting it into a busy day.

imageTo see a world in a grain of sand And heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in the palm of your hand, And eternity in an hour.

William Blake

.

Mindfulness is a buzz word at the moment.

It is touted as being the best thing since sliced bread, in many areas of our lives.

It is promoted for everything from mindful selling, to mindfulness for health, or even as the latest treatment for all our mental health problems.

It has even been suggested as a route to nirvana.

Continue reading